Part of the Game.

It's 3am on a Thursday morning and I've got to be at work in a few hours Internet. I woke up around 2 and I haven't been able to fall asleep, might as well run to your cold, indifferent, and impersonal apron.

I'll give you the long version because somehow Internet you've yet to abandon me when I'm at my weakest, you've also never really been there...or an actual person. I met someone off an Internet dating website about a week ago and I she just dumped me last night. I know what you're saying "It's only been a week, blah, blah, blah" but rejection hurts all the same.

The first time we met was to see a Korean made spaghetti western. It was pretty awkward at first but once we got the awkward hellos and feelers for psychosis out of the way, it seemed like a really good decision. Also, I grabbed her hand during the "High Noon Showdown" scene at the end because I'm smooth like that, or not.

The second time was another movie; she likes them and I work for them so whatever. When I walked her to her car we locked eyes and kissed. I'm not gonna say it was my first because that's admitting a personal truth a man just doesn't admit to, but I will allude to it. Anyway it was brief and unceremonious kinda like the rest of the milestones in my life. At least we're keeping with the motif right?

The other night was the first time I was invited back to her place. I didn't get to sleep with her, so you don't get to jump to that conclusion Internet. However, there was a moment where she placed her head on my shoulders and I rested my head against her's and I felt like we just connected. The room felt unbearably hot, my heart was racing, and I wanted to stay in that moment as long as I could. I let my guard down Internet, and told her something I'm really afraid of.

So last night she tells me that work has to take center stage and that she had a fun time, but it's pretty much over. I've started to notice a pattern here Internet, just as soon as I let my guard down around someone something happens where I get hurt; with Jess and Sarah it was their trampyness, this other girl though was just the victim of circumstances beyond her control.

My heart is gonna yearn for that moment on the sofa Internet, it's gonna yearn real bad.

P.S. I'm as dumb as hell and still have her as a FaceBook friend so if you're reading this HELLO I AM AS DUMB AS HELL! BUT THANKS FOR FINDING SOMETHING IN ME WORTH HAVING, FUCK IF I KNOW WHAT IT IS THOUGH.